MY LIGHTHOUSE

This is not my typical blog entry (no pictures of kids & a little more sappy than I usually am!), but I did post it once before and decided I wanted to share it again.......

Tomorrow marks the 12-year anniversary of my mom's death. Even after 12 years, it is a hard day to get through. On my mom's birthday I am able to remember happy times and to celebrate her life, during the holidays I have Jeff & the kids and new traditions that make me happy, and on ordinary days when I think of her it's usually something happy or funny that I'm thinking about. BUT, tomorrow, just brings back memories of a very sad day and time in my life.

I like to read and share this article, though, because it tells a little bit of who my mom was. I luckily have met and made new friends throughout the years, but they unfortunately never had the privilege of meeting my mom. They hear me talk about her and my family, but not like this. This article tells a little bit more about her and the type of person she was.

So, for everyone that didn't know my mom, but hears me talk about her, I hope you'll feel like you know a little bit more about who she was and where I'm coming from. For all of you that did know her, love her and miss her, I hope you'll take a minute to remember her and how special she was!

The article was written and published in the Puyallup Herald by a good friend of my mom's shortly after her death......

Friend passes quietly........by Rick Roff
Rena-Jean Schrader was a lighthouse that shines no more.

She was my greatest fan.
But that's only a tiny beginning to this story about Rena-Jean Schrader, who passed away two weeks ago.
Rena was my greatest fan because she always read my columns in the Herald and thought they were wonderful -- no matter how bad they were. But my greatest fan also knew I was my own worst critic, and I think she found this as a way of balancing the equation for me.
As much as I appreciated my greatest fan, I always knew Rena was many greater things to me, and to far many more people.
Rena was not a president's daughter or a Hollywood movie star. She was not a professional athlete or a rock musician. She did not flaunt herself before cameras or in courtrooms. Rena did not seek the limelight, have blue hair, wear rings in her nose or tattoos on her arms. She did not appear on the front pages of newspapers, on CNN or MTV.
Heaven forbid Rena would have done these things, because we most likely would not have known her or been supported by her; we would not have had a chance to benefit from her love, or love her in return. And what a waste that would have been. What a travesty. What a tremendous loss.
Lucky for us, Rena was a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, relative and best friend to those who were closest to her. She also was a teacher and protector of children, a Christian and a person who cherished the life she led, knowing all the time there were few greater things in the world than her devoted husband and family.
Who knows how many lives Rena influenced, through her teaching or her everyday life? Children become parents, who have children, who have more children.
People like Rena leave a mark on others that travels on forever, a mark that traces through generations. That's why people like Rena are so valuable when they are here, so missed when they are not.
For those who did not know her well, or who had never heard of her, you will marvel in Rena, because she was really something to behold.
Rena-Jean Schrader was a light-house.
Everyone has a lighthouse in their lives. Everyone has had someone to lean on and who lit the way when things seemed darkest. That was Rena.
If you had a chance to know her, you were fortunate, because you likely benefited from her guiding light, her optimism, her vitality and her smile.
And, if you knew her, you surely gained from the love she had with her husband. One day their cherished relationship was inseparable in mind, spirit and body, and the next day, life reminded us how tragic and fragile -- how absolutely precious -- such a relationship can be.
My ... how dark it seems right now without this lighthouse.
The heavens cried these enormous tears the day she said goodbye. But as sad as it was, the world of those who knew Rena took the time to stop for a moment.
Everything became a little more precious. Trees and clouds seemed as though they were painted in the sky. Appearances of children and people were breathtaking. Things so important in our lives suddenly paled. Life, as Rena and we knew it, came to a screeching halt, as if commemorating the moment.
As her best friend took her hand, Rena took her final breath. She was with those who loved her when she left us -- the way it should be. But as it always is when someone dies, there was so much that couldn't be said, that shouldn't be true ... so much living to be done, so many things to be shared.
We all, at some point in our lives, experience the loss of someone close, and when it happens, the holes that remain are enormous. Time makes things a little more bearable, as it heals the wounds of those who are left behind.
There are a lot of holes today that require filling -- as attested to the more than 400 people who attended the memorial in Puyallup last week.
There are many, many wounds that need healing. These things will happen, but in the meantime, the world will mourn for the bright lighthouse that was Rena-Jean Schrader.
This is why, late at night with my wife -- Rena's best friend -- we stare into the blackness wishing for the light we know will never come.

Unfortunately Rick Roff, the friend that wrote this article, passed away suddenly a little over five years ago. I like thinking about the two of them together, in heaven, looking over all of us. My own angels!

My mom.....